I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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