doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
