He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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