At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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