I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize