I want to have your abortion
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
