remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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