i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
