I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
