You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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