But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Operation Purity has been aborted
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
