I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i came on her dog
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just high enough for therapy.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
