i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize