You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Watching her eat just hurts me
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
