Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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