I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
