OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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