I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
