hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
