I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
