He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
