Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
