So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
