Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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