So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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