4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize