that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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