may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
