I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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