In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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