When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
