every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize