you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
