I cockslap morals
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Green mimosas i think yes
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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