my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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