We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
