I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
