Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize