How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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