I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
