Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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