i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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