The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
