did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
