I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
