oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
