Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
