he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
