They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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