She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
