Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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