She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
