I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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