Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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