i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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