after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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