I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I need to wash the frat house off of me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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