Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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