I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
