i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
